Networking for Introverts: 3 Game-Changing Mindset Shifts

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I am a big believer in the power of networking. Networking has helped land me jobs, clients and opportunities I would never have found on my own. 

As an introvert, networking doesn’t come naturally to me. But changing the way I think about networking has been a game-changer. These three mindset shifts have helped me to truly enjoy networking and make time for it in my life, even if it doesn’t always feel comfortable. 

Here’s how:

Mindset Shift #1: Networking means connecting, and connecting helps us thrive.

The word “networking” often comes with a transactional connotation.  It’s no wonder that it turns so many of us introverts off.

Networking is as simple as making an authentic connection with another individual. It’s a myth that networking is something that you can only do with strangers at dedicated “networking events” (otherwise known as an introvert’s worst nightmare). 

I advise my networking-averse clients to start connecting with friendly faces, perhaps a former manager or a former colleague who has moved onto another company. 

It helps me to remember that humans are wired to seek connection, and we all need it to thrive. In fact, the researchers in charge of the longest in-depth, longitudinal study on human life have concluded that good relationships are the key to a good life. So if you can set up an authentic, curious and agenda-free conversation with another person, remember that they are also likely benefiting from the connection.

It’s a win-win.

Mindset Shift #2: It is a gift to let people help you. 

It’s not always easy for introverts to put themselves out there and ask for help, but remember that humans are wired to want to help others. Allowing ourselves to receive occasional help or advice can be an act of generosity. 

There is even science behind this. In psychology, the “Ben Franklin effect” describes how the act of asking someone for a specific favor may make you more likable in their eyes. (The term comes from a story Ben Franklin tells in his autobiography, where Franklin writes about winning over a rival by asking him to borrow a rare book.)

How can this concept apply to modern-day networking? Asking someone a favor – such as an invitation to coffee or a 20-minute Zoom chat to learn about their career path – might make you more likable in their eyes and therefore more likely to want to help you. 

Whether it’s the Ben Franklin effect in action or not, I’ve found that most people are happy to give 20 minutes of their time. If there is someone whose career you admire or want to learn more about, give them an opportunity to help you out.

Mindset Shift 3: Your introversion can be a superpower. 

When I was growing up, I was reminded constantly that being shy or reserved was a flaw that needed to be fixed. Like many introverts, I did my best to learn extraversion.

Nowadays, people have started to think about introversion differently. There is room for more diverse styles of leadership. (For more ways introverts’ brains differ from extroverts,’ check out this article.)

What if you thought about your introversion as your superpower? Introverts are keen observers and great listeners. We can make good conversation partners because we can make space for the other person without trying to dominate. 

When approaching networking conversations as an introvert, think about how you might apply your unique strengths. For example: 

• Approach the conversation with curiosity; have no other agenda other than to learn. If it’s helpful, pretend that you’re a journalist interviewing the person for a story about their life.

• You may be less of a talker but a good listener, so prepare a list of thoughtful, open-ended questions to ask. I love Kimberly Harris’s suggestion of asking,  “What are the biggest mistakes that you've made and the lessons you've learned?'“ in an informational interview. 

• As an introvert, you may spend a lot of time thinking and reading. After a networking conversation, send a thoughtful follow-up message, perhaps sharing an article you’ve read that relates to your conversation. 

With recent tech layoffs and the rise of remote work, applying to jobs posted online is more competitive than it’s ever been. Networking must be part of your job search strategy. With the right mindset, even introverts can enjoy networking.

If you’re considering your own career relaunch, don’t do it alone! Book a free 30-minute consult to see if private coaching with me can give you a strategic advantage.